Saturday, May 26, 2007

Dazed and Confused


Things aren't going as planned down here at Riverside.

We arrived safely, it only took 6 1/2 hours even with holiday traffic. We pull in and mom, Frankie (mom's dog) and I go into the house. She had the hardest time going up those stairs, so the ramp is a good thing (if it ever gets done, that is!). We come in and go right to the back porch to look at the beautiful river. The boys arrived shortly thereafter. We sat there for a bit and then came inside. She sticks to me like glue whenever she is out of her element. I brought her to her bedroom and showed her the TV and set her up so she would feel at home. She looked at me and said "OK, I'm ready to go home." I swear. It was a straight flashback to my father when he was still living on his own but was beginning to show signs of dementia. We had brought him over for Christmas Eve dinner. Before we could sit down and eat, he started crying and said "I want to go home." That drive was only 45 minutes, one way. This one was 6 hours! I felt totally sick to my stomach when that came out of her mouth. The look in her eyes was total confusion and loss. I looked at her and said "What? You mean you want to go back to Nashville?" I think I was almost as confused as her. I tried to remind her where we were, we had been talking about it for months. She had no idea, no recollection, not a clue. She wanted to go home.

I can't tell you how scary it is watching your parent age and see dementia setting in. It just breaks my heart. And my nerves are just about shot. I have been on edge since we arrived. She's calmed down since arrival, but she is still ready to leave at any moment. I slept on the sofa last night not knowing her state of mind--yet another flashback to my father. Of course, the ramp is not finished and she is even having a time with the single short step out to the porch. I'm just terrified of her falling. This morning, I ordered the extra "layer" on Mediacom so she can watch her Game Show Network. That's all she will watch. It has helped. I sat with her today as she watched and I just feel asleep. As you know, I'm not a morning person and I was up at sunbreak with her, yawwwwwn. Now I'm refreshed after my "nap." grin. She seems fine with it but still gets up and wonders around not knowing where she is. Going a tad stir crazy, I sat up the laptop right behind her here in the kitchen and thought I better do something before I go mad.

Thank goodness, the boys are having a blast, yea! They've been swimming in the river, floating on rafts, taking boat rides and are are now at the Gulf. (Yes, the hub is included in all of the above fun, the big boy he is.) The dogs are chillin'. Rootie is down with her arthritis, poor ol' girl. Those stairs take her out every time. I sure can't wait for that ramp to be done for every one's sake! Frankie is hovering right along side momma. That dog. I swear. Meek and mild -- NOT! She went after our sweet Reese and bit her yesterday! I was so mad! So much for having the fence built too. Poor Reese hasn't been back. I'm so sad.

Well, with all that said, the good news is that Bob was heading back on Monday to take the kid's friend home (and I guess someone does have to work--hehe); so guess who will be catching a ride on that train? Mom cannot make Monday come soon enough. She is ready. She wouldn't even unpack her clothes! At least this afternoon, she seems comfortable and there's only a couple of hours til sundown at which time I can tuck her into bed and relax a bit. (Did someone say pina colada??)

I was a tad nervous about this trip and now I know why. The funny thing is, she was so excited about it. We had fun packing her clothes and talking about the river and everything. She just completely blanked when we arrived and is ready to go home. Oh well. I guess that's a good sign that she is happy at home. I'll say my blessings for that.

I have lots of pics once I set my computer up--teaser. It is just a lovely as when we left last time. Sigh.

7 comments:

"Early Bird" said...

maybe she will become more comfortable with time...I hope your ramp gets built soon for all your sakes!
:)

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, but maybe it was only a momentary confusion... Yes, you'd better get those ramps done!

I'm really looking forwards to seeing your pictures!

PEA said...

Oh Rosa, my heart goes out to you...you were so excited about having your mom come with you to Riverside and then this happens. I had a couple of uncles and an aunt who had dementia and one of things was that they were only happy in familiar surroundings. At least the boys are having fun:-) xoxo

Mrs. Staggs said...

I too am familiar with this, having watched and helped two of my friends live through it with their parents. It is so hard, for everyone. So much of your life has to be planned around keeping the older person grounded as much as possible in the here and now. Usually that means sticking as close to routine and familiar surroundings as possible.
Take care Rosa, I'm thinking about you and your mom and hoping that things will be ok for the couple of days she will be there.

The Woman said...

I don't know what to say, so I'll just send HUGS!

Beth said...

OH Rosie,,,I am so sorry, this post made me cry. Bless your Mom's heart and yours espiecally. I dread the day when my Mom gets like that, I see signs sometimes. Well you just have as many Pina Colada's as you need, my friend!!!
Big Hugss for you!!! Miss You!!!

Dianne said...

Ro, I'm so sorry for you and your mother. It must be so painful to watch but what a wonderful daughter you are. Sending both of you big hugs.

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