Saturday, April 26, 2008

Friendship

By nature, I'm an independent and private soul. A loner, so to speak. In fact, one of my dearest and oldest friends called me that when we were still in high school. I took it as a compliment. Not being one who needs people around me to make myself happy is a positive. I still, to this day, enjoy my own company. I do have my small circle of friends that I grew up with that are so very important to me. They all live in the Northeast so it's hard with that distance between us to stay in touch. I shouldn't, but it does. You know, life just seems to keep you busy.

Recently, I have been feeling a little lonely, actually for the first time in a very long time. I have my friend Beth here in Tennessee but we seldom get together which is just pitiful. When we do, it's a wonderful time, of course. I suppose after moving from where you have lived all your life, it's difficult to make new friends. At least for me, it was. Myself, being so shy and reserved, I never went out of my way to make any friends after our move with the exception of my next-door neighbor who is just like family. My mom moved in with us after we found a house and she has always been my best friend. But, lately, as dementia sets in, it's not my mom that lives with us. I feel more like a mother to her than vice versa. I miss my mom; and perhaps that is why I have been feeling lonesome lately. Perhaps it's age. Of course, I still have the hub, who is also my best friend. But sometimes, you just need a "girl" to talk to. Or so I am beginning to feel. At times like these, I wish I had a sister. The boys are getting older and they don't rely on me as much. So I suppose I'm just moving into the next stage of my life

Our next-door neighbors (like our extended family) have been home for the past several days. They commute back and forth between Nashville and Los Angeles. I can't begin to tell you how nice it has been having my friend back and having a couple of hours to spend talking about what's been going on in each other's lives. It's been a refreshing time. We are very similar in the sense that our homes are our cocoons and when home, we like to relax and be with our families. We get together occasionally but aren't always knocking on each other's doors, ya know? We're not ones to get involved with the busy-bodies in the neighborhood so we can talk about this one or that one. We are both very independent women who value our time with the family. But, with her being gone more than half of the year, we have to catch up when we can. So, we made time to spend together, to get away and just sit and chat. It truly was refreshing to me.

As I'm aging, I am finding friendship to be more valuable to me. I have my handful of true friends, and I cherish them with all of my heart. I love you guys so very much. I'm so fortunate to have you all in my life.

13 comments:

Honest to Ya~Ya said...

I still want to meet you some day when I'm down that way...I think we would have an awesome visit!

Have a great ☼day!

Farmgirl Cyn said...

The older I get, the more I seem to value the close relationships I have. And the blogging world has opened up a whole new avenue of friends...folks you have never met, yet that share in a small piece of your life. Kind of cool that I now have friends all over the world!

Peggy said...

I am getting where I hate to leave the homestead so I value my blog friends very much. I drink my tea and visit each of you and its like I have been to your home. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and I hope to one day meet you in person for tea and a chat!

Vallen said...

We are a lot alike, except I'm blonde. Oh, yeah and older. Love you back.

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

I am like you... It is no problem for me to be a loner, but I also like to have a few good friends around me from time to time.

Before I started blogging, I had no real friends (too shy), but now it has radically changed and it makes me really happy!

Cheers,

Rosa

Beth said...

Awhh,,,I miss you so much Rosie. I wish I could win the lottery so I didn't have to work and we could see each other every week. I have no one close by except for Mom and she just isn't the same right now. I have been very depressed but trying to pull out of it. We have got to get together soon. We have got to plan a outing.
Lotsa Luv!
xoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

robin bird said...

oh dear heart. i could say a lot in response to this post but instead i think i would simply like you to know that i like you very much, you make a wonderful blog friend and i appreciate all the times you have let me know i am special to you. i see you labeled your post 'old friends' maybe you can add a label of 'new friends' and send that out into the Tennessee universe.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I like my own company too, 'cept sometimes you can have too much of a good thing!

Are night classes or joining new neighbourhood things out of the question?

I worry that I spend too much time in blogland myself and not enough in real life (IRL). Never mind the work/life balance, we need a blog/work/life balance too!

All the best! L x

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Lurve the kitty pic by the way. Inspired!

Lisa S. Oceandreamer said...

Having fristers is imperative to me. Not all the women friends I have live any where close to by. I really only have ONE that I can visit and meet for breakfast or just get together here. that's why the Sedona trip was SO important to me and I long for it to have been longer. G is my best friend but I have no sisters and I miss my Mom more than I can say. Sometimes a phone call helps to sustain me - a good old fashioned gab fest.
I wish I lived near you....but then you might get sick of me knocking on your door.lol!
You are very special and you are definitely loved in return!
XOXO

mandco said...

I can really relate to what you are writing, me to am a loner by nature :) And I like my own company, and with my husband and dogs, and a few dear friends, I must admit I never feel lonely. But I can imagine the feeling, especially when your mother has dementia. My mom and I are both only childs, and it was really rough on my mom when her mother got dementia. It was like she had already passed away, and someone else was left with us. My mom felt really lonely during that time, especialy since I at the time was living in the UK. But we all got through it, and today I remember my moms mother like she used to be when I was little. But I think its a natural feeling as one grow older, the kids get more independent, and you now longer have the familiar mother/daughter relationship with your mum, but I also think its a phase, and it will go over, and then you'll have the best time ever. My mom is, at least ;-) I'm so glad to have met you, and I love having you as a friend!

Jeanie said...

Even though I've been mass commenting on one -- I couldn't let this one go by without sending you hugs. I view you as one of my far-away friends. Interesting how many of my blog buddies are more kindred spirits than some I know in person. I know what you mean about your mom, too. Dad didn't have the dementia, but he was so changed by his illness and disability, it affected his personality and he wasn't the dad I knew. I loved them both, but the early-dad was more fun. I'm sure he thought so, too.

So, this post touches me on so many levels. I'm glad you're my cyber-buddy.

John Ivey said...

Very poignant post. I really liked it.

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