Afterglow

I had an inspirational moment tonight and pulled this piece together for my journal. This phrase is oh-so-perfect for mom. She would not have wanted us to be sad. Fersher.

Afterglow? Oh yes.

I wrote on the back "I miss you today but not as much as tomorrow." I somehow feel each day will be a little lonelier without her. I have to say though, I'm really doing ok. Having as much time with her as I did, it's good. Wow. How fortunate am I? Pretty darn fortunate to have her in my life, period.

Getting it "all" done. Perhaps once there's nothing left to do, and once the celebration in her honor is over, it will hit me like a ton of bricks. Probably at the most awkward moment ever. Like when my dad's passing hit me. At the closing for our house in Leesburg before moving to Nashville. Oy. How embarrassing!

I spoke with, well im'd, with my brother Johnny tonight. I have to admit, tears rolled. Talked to him about how it hasn't really hit me yet. I'm thinking once I go back to visit the nursing home, it will. Perhaps that is why I'm avoiding them. Well, not avoiding them, but purposely not visiting yet. Funny, I seem to fight it off every day. Halloween afternoon, it took every thing in my power to stay away from the cupcake shop and buy extra special, spooky cupcakes for them. Everything in my power! Today, I went into town again to check up on the notes I'm having printed. It's right down the road from mom's old place. (Again, the roads were closed off. Daig! Gov. Bredesen was speaking. Lordy have mercy. Haven't been there in months and all of a sudden, it's the hottest thing since sliced bread!) Anyway, I thought about going over. Not quite ready. Not yet. They've been family for the past six months, ya know. Love them.

Saying prayers for a special friend.
Picked up mom's ashes.
Sleeping.
Thinking of food to cook for the celebration.
Present for new baby.
Memorial cards?
Eating too much, but still keeping a close eye out. wink.
Obit sent to The Post. Thanks to my bro Johnny who wrote it. Damn. He's good.
Remembering my friends at Riverside -- some of the best times in my life.
Loving all the memories pouring in.
Feeling the love of my mom, always.
Feeling all your love too.

So many emotions. So much love everywhere. Thank you to the best family ever --the hub, the kid, the teenager, all my brothers, my SILs, nieces, nephews, aunts, cousins. And all of you. Who have become so close, somehow, through this silly blog of mine.

Truly, I am blessed by you all.

xo
ro