Saturday, May 17, 2008


I tell you, I'm about ready for a drink! Poor mom. Thursday night, she came upstairs about the same time and wanted to go sit on the front porch and wait for the "man" who was coming to pick her up. I tried to tell her that she must have dreamt it, but she would not listen to me. So we went and sat and waited. I kept on asking her who it was that was coming to pick her up and she has such a hard time talking, I couldn't make hide nor tail of what she was trying to say. I brought up dad, nope. One of her sons? Nope. Then I asked if it was someone she used to work with. That was it! I asked "A long time ago?" No, recently, she tried to get out. Hmmmmm. She's imagining it, alright. It is so difficult watching your parent deteriorate before your very eyes.

Finally, as the sun began to set, the porch lights came on. That was a sign that it was getting dark to her. She said "Well, I guess he's not coming" in her brokenspeech. So we went downstairs and I got her PJs on her and tucked her in. I kept on telling her that she must have had a dream, that I have dreams all the time and don't know if they are real or not (I don't but I thought she could connect.) She went to sleep at 8 p.m. I woke up several times during the night to make sure she was still asleep and she was awake by 3 a.m.

I'm thinking maybe her internal clock is so messed up from the time change. Maybe if I get her to sleep through the night, she will have a better sleeping pattern. So, last night, I called in one of her old prescriptions that make her sleepy. I gave it to her at 6 and by 8, I again tucked her into bed. I awoke at 4 and she was still asleep! Yea. We are going to try and get her into see her doctor on Monday. (Don't know why I said "WE!") I called her doctor on Friday, of course it was his day off. So, Monday, I will ask him about something that can perhaps regulate her sleeping patterns. Maybe even melatonin. I'm afraid to try it until I can talk with him. With the other medicine, I knew it wasok because she was on it for several years. Anyhoo, we'll see what he says on Monday.

To say the least, I haven't been sleeping. Every sound I hear, I jump out of bed and make sure it's not her roaming. Of course, the kid and I are leaving next Sunday for Paris, the teenager heads to Amsterdam with a group of his friends (joy). I'm staying a week, the kid for several with our friends there. The hub will be home while I'm gone and I'm working on having our friend Sherry come in the afternoon until the hub gets home. I'm not quite sure how mom feels about the hub these days after last summer's onset of confusion. She's still a little offish towards him at times as if she doesn't remember who he is. It just breaks my heart. They were so close. The hub is such a sweetheart and understands completely. I don't know that I could be as understanding if it weren't my mom. Anyway, I am so up in the air about everything. I hope I can get her "regulated" before leaving. Once again, I will sit and worry the entire time unless I am on the phone with someonereassuring me that everything is ok.

I went out last night and purchased two books on dementia and taking care of aging parents. I delved into one last night and it's all just so sad. I know it will continue to get worse and I need to start looking into some kind of help so she will still be alert enough to get to know them, like our friend Sherrie. Sherrie has a family of her own and can't be here all the time. She has offered to help all summer as needed which is a Godsend. But I will need to find an extra person. Anyhoo, just a lot on my mind right now.

The hub comes home tomorrow with lots of chocolate from Zurich. Yes, I gave him a shopping list! I'm going to have a giveaway on Monday. In fact,I'll just go ahead and make a post about it now while I have it on my mind. I'm just a little scattered right now, ya think? Ooooooof!


Peggy said...

My heart goes out to you and your mom. Ms. Fran did some of the same things as your mom. She would call me to come get the man out of her house and of course there was no man there. Before her daughter moved in with her she would go out in the middle of the night. I took her home a couple times when she showed up at my door. Get a baby monitor so you can rest at night. You will be able to hear your mom if she wakes up. Have a wonderful trip and I am sending hugs and prayers your way!

Storybook Woods said...

I am so sorry. I have never had to deal with something like this. But it must be so hard. xoxox Clarice

Anonymous said...

I think that it's probably very good for you, that you write these things about your dear Mom--it must help your frame of mind. We went through this with my Dad & my husband was such a wonder with him. So keep writing--I didn't ever do that & now your notes bring it all back as if it was yesterday--all the second guessing & "should haves..." betty xoxo

Janet said...

I just can't imagine what you're going through with your mom. It must be so difficult to watch her deteriorate right in front of you. At least you're able to keep her with you right now and I'm sure it's a comfort to her even if she can't express it in words. Big hugs for you!!!

Artsy Etc. said...

Rosy..I totally know what you're going through. I watched my mother-in-laws slow decline and it breaks your heart. It also leaves you speechless sometimes. I highly recommend an Alzheimer's support group.They can help you understand the disease better, how to deal with it and what to expect, what not to say to a patient and it helps to know that you're not alone. I can't stress that enough.

In the meantime...HUGS...

John Ivey said...

I don't know how you do it, but I'm glad she is with you and not in a nursing home. Still, it must be awful tough. I was going to call you, but I slept all day. Late night Saturday.

Beth said...

Hey Rosie,

I have been without a cable connection all week-end. Think my modem had gone bad. Girl, you know I will be glad to help out any way I can I don't mind coming and checking on your Mom at any time. You just let me know if there is any way I can help you.
I totally miss you so much and now your leaving on sunday,,that is a total bummer. Please promise that we can get together this summer.
Call me when you get a chance!

Vallen said...

I wish I could help you - maybe I could go to Paris for you. No, really it would be no trouble at all.

All joking aside - the scariness of dealing with our parents debilities - well, it's harder than bringing up our kids. I wish you peace of mind and a great vacation.

Jeanie said...

Hi, Rosie -- I'm sending every good vibe and thought your way. It's so concerning to worry and have them close at hand, afraid they'll do something that may hurt them; yet harder still to think of them not so near. I'm glad you'll be able to get away for a bit and will hope all stays well while you're gone. You're a member of a big club, with lots of members -- those kids who are "raising" their parents. Hang in there, my friend.

robin bird said...

aww rosa what a painful and difficult situation you are in. i feel for you and your mom. it would be so sad to watch my dad if he were forgetting everything and everyone that makes him connected to his world. i wish you comfort and peace of mind. you are a good daughter. i sincerely hope that gives you some measure of comfort. take everything one step at a time and remember to breath.



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